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According to an article in the Liverpool Leader, Karen Vlahos created a project in the self-expression and leadership program rewarding two people with $10,000 who lose the most weight over a ten-week period. The project is also designed to have a positive impact on people’s health in other ways, raising money for the National Breast Cancer Foundation.
The project invites teams of two people to register at the Moorehead Community Centre on Saturday, September 18, for a $10 fee, which goes to the foundation. Teams are also invited to get sponsorship money from friends and family for Breast Cancer research.
The end of the 10-week weight loss challenge is on Sunday, November 28, at Chipping Norton Lakes where a 10 kilometre community walk will take place, as well as a final weigh-in with an announcement of the prize winners.
Vlahos says she created the project as she came to see how foundational our health really is – in addition to being overweight herself, she has a brother with cancer and a son with a chronic illness. “Without your health you really have nothing,” Vlahos notes.
This is the final part of an interview with Landmark Forum Leader David Cunningham on the topic of health and well-being, conducted by Dr. Steve Wechsler on WSYR radio in Syracuse.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: So our next guest we have on today is Nina O’Neill, a communication expert for over 20 years, producing results for companies, development implementation of effective communication strategies, and she has a new blog, and I love the title here. Happy Healthy and Hot. So good morning, Nina.
Nina: Good morning, Steve. Good morning, David.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: How’d you come up with this blog title? I mean, wow! That’s putting it out there.
Nina: It really is how I live my life now – three words for me are also the integration of what I think of are the mind and the body and the spirit all working together. You know, what creates that happy, healthy, and hot, being that way, in your life.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: So the mind is happy, the body is healthy, and the spirit is hot.
Nina: Yes.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Got it. Now I understand the title. So – and what brought you to the place where that wasn’t happening in your life to focus on that now?
Nina: My journey started – two years ago I turned 40, and I was definitely not living a happy, healthy, and hot life at that time. Turning 40 for me started this – just an inquiry into what I want my life to look like now, moving forward, and what would my life look like if it were beyond myself, and I could barely get off the couch. I was tired and exhausted and overweight and had a number of health issues. I was diagnosed that year with an underactive thyroid which certainly contributed, I think, to the low energy that I was feeling, but I was really in a state of despair about it, and as MaryKay had mentioned, this probably, almost certain future I saw that was – if that was what my life was going to look like, I just was clear that I wanted it to be about something else.
And you know, David, you spoke earlier just so beautifully about the junk talk, and I started to really – people say exercise and eat right and that’s the key to losing weight, and it really – there’s that third component which really is that mental component that you’ve talked about – that junk talk and looking at what are the thoughts that you’re having? What are the beliefs that you’re having? And I had noticed, too, that I had done a triathlon in 2001 and I had had a bike accident during that race, and I ended up having surgery – I broke my arm – and about nine days after that 9/11 happened. And I was in a state of feeling so vulnerable, so frightened, and very shaken up. You know, my world took on something that I certainly didn’t expect it either way, and I noticed that there was a direct correlation to when I really started to gain weight after that time. And when I kind of looked back and traced that, that was kinda the key point for me, you know, that that was the thoughts I was having, this feeling that I needed to protect myself, that I needed to be safe, and that’s where the weight kept on.
And when I was able to make that connection and really look in that past and complete that aspect of myself and feel safe again, the weight started coming off. Now, I did a particular diet that was the structure for that, and the level of training and development that I’ve gotten through the courses that I’ve done over the years at Landmark helped me to stick with that program and to do what I said I was going to do when I was gonna do it, and to follow the plan exactly as it was designed. The weight started to shed, and also –
Dr. Steve Wechsler: And that’s the key point. The weight started to shed.
Nina: Yeah.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: We can try and try and try and try, but we have to change the whole energetics, and then suddenly, “Oh! The weight goes, ‘I’m not supposed to be here!’”
Nina: Right. It was like I had given myself permission to let go of it, and it came off very rapidly. I lost 67 pounds in five months. I went from a Size 16 to a Size 2, and again, I made that a very public conversation, and people visibly, obviously, started to see I was starting to look different, but I was also – who I was being in the world was different, because I was let – it wasn’t just the weight I was letting go of. It was all the conversations and all of the – just the things that were weighing me down that had me be heavy in the first place that I was letting go of, and I likened it to kind of like Michelangelo finding David in the stone. When I found – when that whole emergence of self occurred.
And the thing that has been just such a miracle and so joyous out of this whole experience for me is I took this on for myself because I knew that there were changes that I wanted. The life that I wanted to live was not living on a couch and watching Netflix movies for the rest of my life. I wanted something bigger. I wanted to make a bigger contribution, and in that desire and then taking on my own life, people became inspired by seeing what I had done, and it became something that saw for themselves that they could achieve and accomplish. And that was the thing I never would have imagined, that I would become a contribution and an inspiration to other people.
And I now have taken on coaching people who are on the same journey, and that’s the place that I coach them from, is really looking at the conversations that are in their heads, and how to change that and say something new, and move forward with that and create that future for themselves. And it’s been – you know, when I asked myself that question and what would my life look like if it were bigger than me, like, this is the answer. You know, I’ve found that, like this is now my life’s purpose and my life’s passion. You know, anyone can be happy, healthy, and hot.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Happy, healthy, and hot. I love that. Thank you so much for that conversation. I remember early on in development seminars Tony Robbins used to say, “You know, a lot of people have great ideas, big ideas, but they can’t get out of bed in the morning.” And it sounded like you turned that around in your life.
Nina: I did. I absolutely did, and it’s been just extraordinary to be able to live this way, and things I never would have imagined. And it’s in contributing to others that I keep that goal alive for myself. Because it’s like I’m holding myself accountable because other people are looking to me as an example, and so that’s created that bigger conversation for me to continue on my journey and to always look for that next mountain to climb.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Fantastic. So, well, it has really moved me this morning, so that was great. So thank you so much for being on, Nina.
Nina: Thank you, Steve.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Great. So, David, in that conversation, I mean, you could feel it.
David Cunningham: That’s right.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: You could feel it happening. It doesn’t matter the distance.
David Cunningham: It doesn’t. It’s really exciting to hear people have victories like that. You know, Steve, I think as one really important thing we should say this morning, too, is that it doesn’t matter your starting point. I think one of the decisions people make is that it’s too late for them or they’re too far gone or something like that, right, like, “Oh, I’m too heavy. So I just won’t be able to get started.” No, it really doesn’t matter – people’s starting points. You can start anywhere. You know, powerful people always just start where they’re starting. You know, if you want to go someplace and you don’t know how to get there, the first question, “Well, where are you? And then I’ll give you directions from there.” So for people to be able to start at any starting point, I think it’s really important.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Yeah, it’s like the GPS. The positioning system figures out where you are. But, you know, we have that within ourselves. You know, a lot of times, as you said, if we just write down what’s happening, we can figure out our position. We can figure out where we are, and it’s interesting. The people who sometimes accomplish the most in life sometimes are blind to why they’re not feeling fulfilled, because they’re like, “Wow. You know, I got the great job and the great family and the great this and the great that.” And they go, “But what’s missing?”
So sometimes by doing that inventory like we talked about in the first part of the show, by writing down – What are the facts? What’s happening right now in our lives, and what are the things we’re adding to that conversation? And sometimes, like, “Wow. I’m missing a whole part of myself. Why haven’t I – why don’t I have any of those facts or happenings in my life?” And then you can move forward. But then there are plenty of people that feel like, “Oh, well, I have nothing going on in life.” And then they start putting down the facts and they say, “Well, you know what? Maybe my life isn’t that bad, and I can move forward from here.”
David Cunningham: Good. I think that’s really important, and the two things you said are really important. One is we do – in the facts of our life we do have – we have a body, we can think, we can talk, right? And those are facts. We can think and we can talk, and if we can think and we can talk, then we can make a difference, right?
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Yeah, just as long as we’re above ground, this works.
David Cunningham: There you go. And then what you said was, if we’re blind to something – yes, the junk talk that we have with ourselves is something that is usually in a blind spot. It’s something where we haven’t heard it. It’s invisible to us, ‘cause when something’s constant, Steve, we stop noticing it. You know, if the air conditioning is on – we might hear it when it first kicks on but then it makes a noise all the time but we don’t quite hear it ‘cause it’s constant. And the junk talk we do with ourselves, the disempowering conversations we have with ourselves, are so constant that we stop hearing them. That doesn’t mean that they’re not there. So they move into a blind spot, and if you can move them out of the blind spot, and actually identify, “What are the conversations I’m having with myself that literally have me disempower myself and lose power?” that makes a big difference in moving them out of the blind spot into the light of day.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: You know, I was really amazed when I went through my Landmark Forum about a month ago is that at the end of the forum people bring in – people that have had changes, made changes in their lives, and it’s amazing. Some of the people’s changes – 25 years of change happen in a phone call, a conversation. They change the story about it. And that was the amazing part of when you talk about conversation. When we change the conversation, we can change literally 25 years of history. It’s not like we lost that history. It just looks so much different.
David Cunningham: It does, doesn’t it? ‘Cause what has us – what gives us our view of life, what gives us our relationship to life, is not life itself, but what we’re saying about it. And when you can identify what you’re saying about life as distinct from life itself, then you really have the power to give yourself a new life. And like you said, that is not a matter of time. That’s called transformation, by the way, and that happens in a moment.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: So do the junk talk audit. So whether it’s about weight, whether it’s about relationships, whether it’s about your job, whether it’s about your relationship with your mother – what are the facts? And I think that’s such an important thing. What really happened? So sitting around with my 12 friends from 30 years ago, there was one guy who was like a savant. He remembered everything, and some of us had like a “Wow! That’s really how it happened.” Because a lot of us have made up other stories 30 years later of what really happened, and how we were really feeling and being 30 years ago, but it had such an impact of our lives. Not what happened but the stories that we created from it. So it was a very good happening before this talk, and then, as you said, then get committed. Get committed to making some kind of change in the conversation, change in your life, and then find like-minded communities. Find someone to run with. Find someone to eat better with. Even find someone to do your list with about, “Wow!” You know, it commits you. It gets you involved. It gets someone else accountable for what’s going on in your life.
David Cunningham: And that’ll make a difference for you, and it will make a difference for them at the same time. They’ll enjoy that, too.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Great. Great. David, this has been just a great hour together, and especially hearing from MaryKay and Nina that real people can make real transformation in their lives. And that’s the important part because, you know what, a different diet, a different exercise program, a different car, a different partner, a different – we really have to work to be more than just change to a different thing. We have to really work to be different, and do different things from that being, and then we can really have that satisfaction in our lives.
David Cunningham: Great.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: And so, David, I want to thank you a lot for being on. This was just a great – it was just a great hour. And if people want to get more in touch with what kind of conversation this is, they can go to LandmarkEducation.com. They have courses all over the country – actually all over the world – and it’s a great technology.
David Cunningham: And we love to empower people in all areas of their life. Their health, their fitness, their careers, their money, their relationships. All of it, Steve. It’s just really extraordinary to be able to do that.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: That’s great, David. So again, really important information. If you get a chance, check out their web site. And it’s amazing. You know, I was, again, with my group of 12 yesterday, and a few of the people in the group had actually taken Landmark seminars, and we actually – the conversation changed to a whole different conversation. We actually really started to talk about what was really going on in our lives. We kinda got out of the past and into the present, and it was great to hear how people are still growing and changing in their lives. So growing and changing happens at any age.
David Cunningham: It’s really important always that we always keep saying it’s all possible. Anything we want, it’s possible. It’s all possible. It’s important that we’re always saying that.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Great. Thank you so much, David, and we’ll have this conversation another time.
David Cunningham: Thank you. Bye.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Great. Thank you so much for listening.
This is the third part of an interview with Landmark Forum leader David Cunningham about health and well-being with Dr. Steve Wechler of WSYR Radio.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Well, welcome back to Nutritional Insights. This is Dr. Steve Wechsler. My guest today, David Cunningham, a communication expert and seminar leader for Landmark Education. Over 1.2 million people have been through their programs. And we have David on today talking about junk talk causing weight gain. Hi, David.
David Cunningham: Hi, Steve. Good to be back with you.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Great. So let’s wrap up a few of those points that we spoke about for people who might have just tuned in. You know, we’re talking about how conversations – how they affect the way we eat, the way we exercise, the way we take care of our health. And then you gave a few examples of what people could do.
David Cunningham: Uh huh. A couple things, again, to pay attention to is the self talk we have. We call it junk talk. Just like junk food, there’s junk talk. And what are the things that we say to ourselves, the decisions that we’ve made, like, “I’m too old for that,” for example, that really disempower us in any new commitment that we have. You know, Steve, my mom’s 84 years old, right? And for the first time ever, she went for her first massage and rolfing session, and she just had never had that before in her life. And, you know, for the first couple times I mentioned it, what she said to me is, “I’m too old for that.” Right? But then, after a couple times, she said, “Okay, I’ll try it.” And now she loves it. The thing she said to me when she came back is, “Okay,” she goes, “Now you’re gonna have to support me in how to do this every couple weeks,” because she loved it so much.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: That’s fantastic.
David Cunningham: It is, isn’t it?
Dr. Steve Wechsler: And, again, at any age, we can change our minds. I took care of in my practice so many older, healthy 60, 70, 80, 90-year-old people because their mindset has been on that for so long. But then I’ll have some people who’ll come and they’re very unhealthy at that age. Those who change their mindset to do things differently in their lives – actually to be something different in their life – to be a healthy person, rather than just do healthy things.
David Cunningham: And that’s what’s really important – to be in communication with other people, isn’t it? So anybody that comes in to talk to you, they can hear something that they haven’t been saying to themselves. When I include other people in what I’m committed to, even what I’m failing at, because sometimes the last thing we want to talk about is something we’re failing at – if we’re failing at a diet or failing to exercise, it’s the last thing we want to talk about. But if we include other people that’s when we can get new ideas, new support, new encouragement, and literally start thinking some new things, is when we are courageous enough to include other people, and I know that takes courage, but it’s really important.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: So we’re gonna have a few other guests here. We have MaryKay Mullally, a life coach whose passion is wellness, nutrition, and weight management. MaryKay has run five marathons since turning 40 years old, even the Boston Marathon. She founded Step Up For Life, a beginners’ half marathon training program to empower women. Good morning, Mary.
MaryKay: Good morning, Steve.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Thank you so much for being on today. So where were you at before you started running these marathons?
MaryKay: Well, Steve, I had a successful career in technology. I was a supermom, and at that point I’d run three marathons and three half-marathons, and seemingly had it all. You know? I was in the best physical shape of my life but I also had an emotional void, and what I didn’t know is that I was unconsciously and unknowingly trying to fill that void through my physical accomplishments.
And it was really at that time that I started to examine the future that I had, and it certainly wasn’t my certain future but it was the likely one that I thought I had, and I didn’t like what I saw. You know, what I saw was that my son and daughter would soon be out of the nest, and I’d be shuffling papers and dealing with office politics as some high-tech executive, and I wanted to have more. You know, in my world at that time I thought back to those disempowering conversations that there was nothing else I could do. I was trained in technology and what could I do? What change could I make that would fulfill me more than what I had? What was happening for me is – and I saw – well, I’m just gonna have to keep doing things, and accomplishing things to somehow feel worthy and valuable.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: So a lot of people have that in life where they have it seemingly all. Like, people look at your life and go, “Wow. You got all of this going on.” But there’s that empty part that we feel. Now, what made you look further into this, and where did you look?
MaryKay: Well, what made me look further into it was just looking down the road and wondering, “Was this it? Was this what my life was going to be? And was this what my life was for?” And I thought, “Man! This can’t be it.” And so those questions ultimately led me to do the Landmark Forum and not only did I get those questions answered but I learned more about myself in that one weekend than I had in 43 years at that point.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Yeah. You had more answers to your questions.
MaryKay: Oh, for sure.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Because so many of us are looking for the answer but then we realize that there are more questions we could be asking.
MaryKay: Absolutely.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: And then you started this program to help other people.
MaryKay: That’s right. You know, it was at that point that I realized – I discovered my passion for health, and wanting to share with people the journey I had been through to accomplish the things that I had and running the marathons and all that had really transformed my life physically. So what happened from there was I made some new commitments. I actually quit my job but I also negotiated a higher paying contract job with more flexible hours and that was the point where I was inspired to found my company Step Up For Life, and I started that as a half marathon training program to empower women.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: And what’s the different conversation now? Now. Why do you run now? Why do you compete now?
MaryKay: You know, I wake up every day thinking about my exercise and what I’m gonna do that day to make me feel good. And why I run and why I exercise is because I want to feel good. And I know that when I do those things, when I take care of myself, I feel good, and when I feel good, I can do anything.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Beautiful. Great. Thank you so much, Mary. I appreciate you being on.
MaryKay: You are welcome. Thank you for having me.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Great. So, David, let’s talk a little about this. Some people are just – they get fanatical about being healthful, and that’s not really so healthy.
David Cunningham: Well, I think so, and I think the thing that MaryKay so beautifully said was how that – what she was so driven – you said fanatical or driven by it – is often that we’re driven by it for some reason that really isn’t health-oriented. We’re driven by it to fill some void or we’re driven to exercise or to look good versus really be healthy and being happy as a human being, and I think what MaryKay said is so brilliant. Because what shapes us right now, Steve, is the future that we see for ourselves, and when you see a future for yourself that you don’t love, it disempowers you right now. When you can see a future for yourself that inspires you, even though it’s a future, guess when it gives you power? It gives you power right now.
So I think that’s another key point that MaryKay made which is that to be able to see a future for ourselves where a future of health, a future of contribution – that our health makes a difference for our families, our health gives us a chance to contribute to our friends, our health just lets us be happier people with other people. So when we can see a future for ourselves that makes a difference, it really gives us power right away.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Yeah. That service to others shows us how much more energy we have. I always say to people, you know, you start serving from where your cup runs over. Because so many people try to give from half a cup or a quarter of a cup because they’re supposed to be giving, but when you really give when your cup is running over, when you’re really in that full expression kind of place, then giving is – it’s beautiful, it’s healthy, it’s happy, and you’re giving from a place of fullness.
David Cunningham: Yeah. It actually is natural at that point.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Exactly.
David Cunningham: It’s a very natural expression to contribute to others.
This is the second part of a radio interview with Landmark Forum leader David Cunningham about health and well-being. Dr. Steve Wechler of WSYR AM conducts the interview. Here is part one.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: All right. So let’s take a scenario. So someone was an athlete when they were younger, and then they ate a lot. They ate whatever they wanted. As they get older, jobs change, they go to college, they start to gain weight. Where does the conversation start? Do you have this conversation with yourself? Do you have a conversation with a coach or a friend? How would you start a conversation like that?
David Cunningham: Well, here’s what I would do. I would just take a piece of paper. It’s a simple thing. Take out a piece of paper or open up a file on your computer, and just make two columns, and one column is the facts. “What are the facts about my life?” And the other column is, “What have I added to those facts? What have I made up about it?” So, one column sounds like this. “I weigh 165 pounds. I work eight hours a day. I eat 2,200 calories a day.” That’s what facts sounds like. Here’s what we add to the facts. Things like this. “I’m too tired to exercise. I don’t have enough time. I’m too old. It doesn’t make a difference anyway. It doesn’t matter if I get started because I won’t follow through.” People have decisions like, “I’m not good at following through on things,” and then you can just separate out.
Where I get started, Steve, is separating out the facts from what you’ve added to the facts. And when you let the facts simply be the facts and separate out what you’ve added, you’ll be able to see that really what disempowers you, what holds you back, what defeats you are not the facts of your life. It’s what you’ve added to the facts. And when you get what you’ve added really is made up, that it is added, it’s not the truth about your life, that gives people extraordinary power. So that’s where I’d start, is just making a list, separating out the facts from what I’ve added to the facts, and just getting that separated out will make a big difference for people, and it’s an easy place to start. You can do that right now. People could do right now while they’re listening.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: So go over that again. In one column you write –
David Cunningham: One column is the facts. Facts sound like this.” I weigh 185 pounds. I eat 2,200 calories a day. I work eight hours a day. I have three kids.” Okay. That’s what facts sound like. What I’ve added to the facts sounds like this.” I don’t have enough time for exercise. I’m not good at following through on things. I’m not strong anymore.” Those are things that we’ve added to the facts of our life. Another fact would be, “I’m 64 years old.” What I’ve added to the fact is, “I’m too old for this.”
Dr. Steve Wechsler: And that’s in Column 2. The interpretations of the facts.
David Cunningham: That’s right. In Column 2 is, “I’m too old for this.”
Dr. Steve Wechsler: You know, it’s funny. I thought about – people go, “Well, I’m really healthy. I eat salad.” What they add to it is 500 calories of dressing and bacon bits and all this kind of stuff so, yes, in their minds they’re eating healthy but when you look at the facts they might be eating 1,000 calories just in one salad.
David Cunningham: Thank you. Right. Exactly, and if you get that, that would be another whole set of facts that’s really useful is, “What do I eat during the day?” Write and keep a list of that and how many calories that is and over on the other side what I add to those facts would be, “I’m eating good,” or “I’m not eating good,” or “I don’t have time to eat well.” And you’ll see that no matter what you’ve added to the facts it really has nothing to do with your health. What impacts your health are the facts of your life, not what you add to those facts.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: So to change – now, so you have your facts, and then we can actually change the add-ons. We can say, “Well, I’m 64, and, you know, there’s a lot of people who are 64 who are really fit and really healthy and really happy, and I can be one of them.”
David Cunningham: Uh huh. And unless you first identify the part you’ve added on, you’ll never see how much it’s impacting you.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Absolutely.
David Cunningham: So that’s how come it’s important to see what you’ve added to the facts. If you can’t see it – if you can’t hear yourself say it, you’ll never notice how much it’s impacting you. Now, one thing is you don’t really have to change it, though. You just kinda let it there. It’s fine because you really can’t change what that voice in your head says. What you can do is start new conversations. You don’t have to fight the old ones, argue with the old ones. They’re fine. Just let them be there. Just like you have a right hand, you have a left hand. You don’t have to get rid of your left hand to use your right one. You just let your left hand be there, but then pick up your right hand and use that. Start something new, and that’s when you can start a new conversation about, “Okay. Good. Here’s what’s possible. Here’s what I’m committed to. Here’s what I’m gonna promise today.”
Dr. Steve Wechsler: And then how – All right. You’re having this conversation with yourself. I’ve had many conversations with myself. And then there’s this added part about getting other people involved, which I think is such an important part, whether it’s a Mastermind group working with some other like-minded people, asking a partner to run with you, or even I’ve done some coaching and you get alone with a friend and you’re like, “Okay, this is what I came up with.” So you say, “Hey. I’m writing a list. Why don’t you write a list? Let’s talk about it.” To share that with someone makes you more committed and accountable.
David Cunningham: It is as critical as coming up with the new commitment or the new promise to yourself. Coming up with a new commitment or a new promise can really be like a New Year’s resolution, and we know those don’t last, right? If the New Year’s resolution is about a diet, it lasts till Cinnabon the next day, right?
Dr. Steve Wechsler:[Laughter]
David Cunningham: So New Year’s resolutions don’t work. Here’s what works. Making some kind of new commitment/new promise, and sharing it with other people, and inviting other people into the action with you. People love to contribute. That’s one thing. So everybody has people around them that have some information about nutrition they’d love to contribute. So invite people to contribute to you what they know about nutrition. Invite people. We all have people around us who have particular interests in different physical activities. So invite them to train you in their physical activity you’ve never tried before.
So we all have people around us that would love to contribute to us, and we also have people around us that we could make a difference with. So that if we haven’t started running we’ve got five friends around us that haven’t started running either, and if we invited one of them to go with us, we would have the satisfaction of not only impacting our own health but at the same time contributing to another. And that is really satisfying.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: So I’m talking with David Cunningham, communication expert from Landmark Education. David’s going to be on with us for the second half of the show with some other guests. For more information about Landmark Education, you can go to www.LandmarkEducation.com. It’s a wonderful organization. I just went through their program about a month ago, and I learned things. I’ve been doing personal development work on myself for probably around 25 years, and as much work as we do, it’s always great to come at things from another angle. And this angle of, “What kind of conversation are you having with yourself?” is such a powerful thing that happened in my life.
We’re going to be talking in the second half of the show with MaryKay and Nina, who have looked into the conversations they were having in their life, and saw that through changing their conversations, how the growth and potential changed in their lives.
What follows is an interview with Landmark Forum leader David Cunningham on the topic of health and well-being, which took place on a Syracuse radio station, WSYR AM. On the program Cunningham talks about what it takes to live a healthy life, and specifically what kinds of conversations and views of the world either stop us or empower us in achieving that. The interview is conducted by Dr. Steve Wechler.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: So this show today is a really exciting show for me because we talk so much on Natur-Tyme about health. We talk about wellness. We talk about what to do to be happy and healthy.
And my guest today, David Cunningham, is a communication expert and seminar leader for Landmark Education, a personal and professional growth training and development company, that has trained more than 1.2 million people. Using their programs, their breakthroughs in their personal lives and their communities, community projects, Landmark’s flagship program works with some extremely big companies, companies that we’re talking about at a workshop that I went to – like Apple. Performance on parts of companies really getting along to each other so they can perform at their highest, and that people have great relationships and overall satisfaction in their lives. David, you on?
David Cunningham: I am, Steve. Good morning.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Great. Good morning, David. Thank you so much for being on today. I really appreciated meeting you the other day and also learning about more of what your company and the style of communication can do for a topic like we’re talking about today which is weight loss. We hear about people – you know, so much obesity going on among adults, and especially concerning people as obesity among children.
David Cunningham: It certainly is and it’s really important that we find some new ways of making a difference in that area.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Yeah. We have to change. As it says here, we have to change the conversation about it. There’s so many things out there. I mean, I can ask so many of my patients. They’re looking to me for advice, and I’m like, “Well, what do you think you should do?” So many people know what to do but they can’t wrap their heads around actually doing it. There’s something obviously getting in the way.
David Cunningham: That’s right. You know, we talked a lot about junk food. Well, there’s something else we could – which we could call junk talk. Right, Steve, which is where the speaking we do, the conversations we have about what we eat and about our fitness – if we pay attention to what we’re actually saying, we’ll find that a lot of the conversations we have with other people and with ourselves privately – the conversations themselves disempower us, and defeat us in all of our health commitments.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Yeah. Conversations are important because a lot of the conversation goes on inside our heads and the conversation kind of out in the public – like the big thing is school children. You know, the conversation is, “You know, get them fit, get them healthy,” and, you know, they’re canceling gym and they cancel outings and they serve sometimes really lousy food. So the conversation doesn’t match what’s really happening in the world.
David Cunningham: Yeah. I think there’s both pieces of it, right? So let’s talk about the conversations people have with themselves first, okay? I don’t think people really realize how much they talk to themselves. There’s that voice in the back of our heads, and it’s as common as breathing. If we’re breathing, we’re talking to ourselves, and that little voice in the back of our head is just always commenting on everything. One of the things it comments on is our health and our fitness. Food, eating, exercise, and way back when we’re young, we make some decisions. Decisions like, “I’m not good at that. I’m not good at exercise, or I’m not good at running, or I’m not good at basketball, or exercise is hard.” Or, with regard to eating, we make decisions like, “Oh, I deserve to eat what I want to eat.” And those decisions keep playing over and over again in our heads. We tell ourselves that over and over again, and that’s what defeats us in our biggest commitments to being healthy.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: You know, that’s very funny. Yesterday I went to a 30th anniversary of a camp reunion of the kids that we were in the same cabin together when we were 11, 12, 13 years old, and so much was locked in even by then, and when we’re sitting around we’re like, “Oh, my God. We’re no different in some ways than we were back then.” A lot of the same habits, a lot – you could see the eating habits even among us. The picky eater was the vegan. The guy who couldn’t stop eating is, you know, 200 pounds overweight. It was just amazing how things moved forward without much change.
David Cunningham: That’s because, Steve, that the actions we take are always correlated to – consistent with – the conversation we’re having with ourself. So, for instance, if we say, if one of the things we say to ourselves is, “Uh, you know, eating – when I’m tired – it makes it feel better to eat,” and that’s one of the things we’ve decided, or, “When I’m sad, it makes me feel better to eat,” and that’s one of the things we’ve decided, way back when we were kids, that our actions, no matter what else we get committed to, will be consistent with that fundamental decision we made. And until we can get those decisions revealed and make some new decisions, we really won’t change our actions no matter how much we try.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: You know, it’s funny. I went to a conscious eating seminar and they said, “You know, don’t eat when you’re sad. Don’t eat when you’re upset. Don’t eat when you’re too excited. Don’t.” And people are like, “When do you eat?” You know, the conversation like you’re talking about in our heads is going off on so many different subjects that we’re not necessarily choosing what to eat. Sometimes it’s like, you know, you eat, and then you look down and go, “Wow. My plate’s empty. I must need more.” We’re not present when we’re eating.
David Cunningham: That’s good, and that’s why it’s all so important, then, to start some new, proactive conversations. Conversations that are really based in what you’re committed to. There’s two kinds of conversations, if you noticed. There’s one kind which is where we talk about how come we can’t do things. Like, “Oh, I can’t stick to a diet ‘cause I travel so much, or I can’t really exercise ‘cause I’m too busy.” That’s one kind of conversation.
There’s another kind of conversation where we actually commit to something. Make some new promises about things that we’ll do and include other people in that, which is a really key part, so –
Dr. Steve Wechsler: That’s a very key part.
David Cunningham: It is. Conversations like this. “Will you go running with me?” Or, how about, “Would you want to try this diet with me?” And when you start new conversations that actually include other people and literally the conversation itself invites people into a new lifestyle with you. Those conversations in particular make a difference.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: And to invite people. A friend of mine is living with me and she gets up really early in the morning, exercises, does her thing, and that was a really good person for me to ask because she has that kind of lifestyle already. But to ask someone who’s as lazy, maybe, as you are, would that be as good as asking someone who maybe has some habits going already that are positive?
David Cunningham: Well, I think that one of the things people do is that we often talk each other out of something. So you and I may in the evening go, “Okay, let’s run tomorrow.” Then we wake up in the morning and I look at you and go, “Uh, I don’t know. I’m tired.” You go, “Me, too.” We go, “Okay. Well, forget it.” And we talk each other out of things. So it’s really important that whoever you’re with, whoever you’re engaging with, you start a relationship where you talk each other into things versus out of things. That’s really important.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Right. And making a commitment and showing up for that commitment can really change your whole life, not even just about committing to running.
David Cunningham: Well, I think that’s right. I don’t think people really have tapped into as much as they could the power of committing or the power of making new, big, bold promises. A lot of people are afraid to make promises or commitments. For two reasons. One is because they’re somewhat embarrassed. You know, if they’ve broken their promises or commitments before. If they said, “I’m going to go on a diet,” and then they haven’t before, then they’re embarrassed to say it again.
Or, their other reason that people don’t like to make promises or commitments is because they’re afraid they won’t keep them. But that’s really the point of a promise. A promise of a commitment is not a prediction. A prediction is when you say, “I think this will happen, or I think that won’t happen.” A promise is or a commitment is when you say, “I’m going to have something happen that’s new, that wasn’t going to happen anyway.” And saying that, and saying it to other people, and, in fact, the more people you say it to, the more power it gives you.
Dr. Steve Wechsler: Now, what about connecting people up with – you know, I used to do a lot of work with people who smoked, and we would have them write on little cards, give it to your friend. “Hey. I’m stopping smoking. Give me a call. Can I use you as one of my supports?” and also having them saying, “Well, what if I keep smoking? What could be the outcome of that?” Or, “What if I don’t stop at a certain time, or what if I stop now? What are the positive outcomes?”
David Cunningham: I think that’s really valuable and, you know, one of the things we have to face, though, too, is that no matter how much education we’ve done on the consequences of different things – of smoking or eating certain kinds of foods or not exercising – just hearing the consequences alone doesn’t seem to make a difference for people. And I think that goes back to the other point you made, which is that people’s actions, our actions, are always correlated to the conversations we’re having with ourselves and others, and unless we alter the conversations we’re having, we really won’t alter the behavior.
According to the Byron Shire News, twenty people from the Byron Bay area in Eastern Australia will soon have the opportunity to drastically lose weight and get in shape in a manner akin to that used on that popular television series “The Biggest” Loser, with 20 contestants taking part in an intensive training regimen. The idea was conceived by Kylie Flevell as her project in Landmark Education’s Self-Expression and Leadership Program, who says that “This 12-week intensive course will provide 20 contestants with a world-class exercise and nutrition program that will be tailored to the individual.”
Flevell enlisted a range of sponsors in the project, the largest of whom is Candice Marslen, owner of two fitness facilities in Byron Bay – she is providing $24,000 worth of health and fitness programs at her own expense. Marslen is also offering identical free programs for others who don’t qualify as one of the 20 participants, albeit without the chance to win the contest.
Two winners of the contest will be awarded a variety of spa treatments, ongoing fitness classes, beauty treatments and other prizes.
Those interested in taking part can show up at the launch day, held July 31st at 11am at Railway Park in Byron Bay, or contact Marslen in advance at 0402 749 641. A $100 registration fee is required to take part. Read more details about the fitness program and the contest at the Byron Shire News website.
Landmark Education has made its recent webinar on the topics of neuroscience and personal transformation available as a free download on its official website.
The webinar is a 90-minute event hosted by Joe Dimaggio, MD, and David Rock. Dimaggio is the head of Landmark Education's research and development department as well as a senior Landmark Forum leader. He also has a medical background, formerly being a senior researcher and executive at Sloan Kettering Medical Center. Rock is a CEO of a coaching company and has written a book on the science of the brain.
"Born Schizophrenic", a documentary outlining a rare and severe case of childhood schizophrenia, airs tonight, May 4, on the Discovery Channel at 9pm Eastern Time / 6pm Pacific Time. Executive produced by Landmark Education graduate Steve Truitt, the feature is part of Discovery Channel's Psych Week, with shows focusing on mental health.
See the video below for more information, and read the entire story at the Discovery Health website. Truitt, who hosts several popular national cable shows on the Discovery Channel and other outlets, is also the award-winning author of Stop Waiting for Permission, a book about personal success and fulfillment.
